The GCHQ’s JTRIG directorate seeks an intern to join their Departement of Typos.
It’s simple, really. We can’t shoot journalists. Not yet. (Even though they deserve it.) So instead we make them look bad by sabotaging their work.
You think we can’t hack a newspaper’s website? Ha.
So we sabotage them instead, a little misspelling here, an added word there. So few newspapers can afford copyeditors these days it’s impossible to prove, and makes the journalist look bad–and, more importantly, distracts readers from any unfortunate truthiness the journalist happens to be engaging in.
We shit you not, truthiness is the greatest threat to our great nation. You think terrorism and paedophilia is bad? Wait until you see what the truth can do to a well-ordered society.
As an intern in the Department of Typos, you can expect to grow with the role from subtle sabotage to actually blowing shit up–preferably with journalists and other evil-doers inside.
Because the only way for us, the GCHQ, to combat crazy bombers who want to kill people is to become crazy bombers who want to kill people. What our special forces do.
Requirements:
— journalism degree
— unwavering belief in your own superiority
— certified sociopath
— can pass our spelling and grammar test (you can’t sabotage spelling if you don’t how to spell)
Benefits:
— the future is bright–there’s never been more democracies to suborn than today!
— access to the GCHQ’s special retirement fund (see forthcoming job posting)
— salary: all you steal without getting caught
Qualified applicants will be invited to a GCHQ spelling bee. Winner gets the job.
