Surveillance isn’t just about watching. It’s about interfering.
Here at GCHQ, our job isn’t just to perv over your dick pics. Our job is to intimidate, threaten, and bully the population into obedience.
Like children, really, the people of Britain. They cannot be trusted to rule themselves in a democracy. What a word–democracy! Vote for the Eurovision winner if you want.
That’s where you come in. As a Jackboot Thug, you will hurt people we tell you to. Especially journalists, but also hackers, and the occasional politician who gets out of line.
People need to know their place. We track ’em, you whack ’em.
Brass knuckles will be provided. Nunchuck training to those who are interested. Members of the mafia encouraged to apply.
No computer skills necessary.
