GCHQ Careers & Jobs

Help us protect Britain from terrorists and paedophiles.

GCHQ requires a medical device researcher with a keen sense of ethics. More and more medical devices–such as drug pumps, pacemakers, X-Ray machines, and other lifesaving devices–are being connected to the internet.

Sometimes we know that a person, deep down in their diseased soul, is a terrorist. They haven’t done anything yet, and we can’t prove it, but to protect our country it is sometimes necessary to…electronically interfere with these terrorists’ medical devices.

If Osama bin Laden had a pacemaker, would you have hesitated to tweak a few settings? I think not…


  • * Ability to read a manual and copy hard-coded passwords into a terminal prompt
  • * The ethics to know that preventing bad people from doing bad things is good for the world–even if some “goody two shoes”, like Glenn Greenwald, get their knickers in a twist about “pruning society.” Whatevs, Glenny boy.
  • * Be fun at parties. We sure are!


  • *  £80,000
  • * Massive savings on lip energy by never having to talk about your work–else you may find your car behaves in…unexpected ways
  • * Jean-Luc Picard costume for TNG Fridays!

Hacking medical devices is a nice, clean way to save the world from people who just don’t understand how to think right. At the GCHQ, we are specialists in right thought.

Think right. Not wrong.

Join the GCHQ today!